Gamel Funny Farm Blog: My Family Says The Funniest Stuff
Updated: Jul 19, 2019
There isn't a day that goes by that I'm not reminded of how blessed I am to be a husband and a parent. It's not the easiest job in the world, but it's rewarding – and so incredibly worth it.
My wife, Leslie, and I have two amazing boys in Christian (9) and Jackson (4). We're a team, but independently, we are all a bunch of oddballs. Oh, I mean it! I'm sure you've heard of the phrase, "Kids say the weirdest things." Well, that's my kids.
They're incredibly witty, and both have amazing comedic timing. It's a wonder how I can ground them for being naughty when I'm laughing so hard at what they say and do. When you factor in their two goofy parents, what you end up with is the Gamel Funny Farm.
So as a writer, I'm never at a loss for inspiration. I've written a lot about my family in various newspaper and magazine columns, and in my spare time, I've kept track of a few conversations and moments over the years that I thought you might enjoy.
I come home to see my wife asking our 4-year-old a few questions in order to fill out an About Me form for his Pre-K class. As she asks, "What are your plans for the future?" I see Jackson put the toilet plunger container over his face.
... I hope that's not his answer.
Christian: "Hey, Daddy? Can I sit in the front seat of the car today?" Me: "No, buddy. You're too little right now." Christian: "Hey! I'm not little!" Me: "You're right, but you're still little in the eyes of the law." Christian: "I AM THE LAW!!!"
Me: "Hey Monkey, let's get ready for school."
Jackson: "I AM NOT A MONKEY. YOU'RE A MONKEY!!!"
Me: "Ok, what are you then?"
Jackson: "I'm a Jackson. Jackson Gamel."
Mommy: "I need to watch The Bachelorette tonight, even tho I know who she picked."
Christian: "Who did she pick? Chef [Gordon] Ramsey?"
Me: "Leslie, I love you. I'm lucky to have you in my life."
Leslie: "Thanks. What did you do wrong?"
Mommy: "Christian. If you had 85 cents and you spent 50 cents on a Coke, how much would you have left?" Christian: "30 cents!" Mommy: "Correct." Me: "Ummmm no!" Mommy: "Yes ..err, wait. That's not right. Ok, so with 35 cents left, if a candy bar costs ...." Me: "Let's just stop there shall we?"
Me: "Christian! Let's get our stuff together and go." Christian: "Uggg. But why?" Me: "Well I have a few things I need to accomplish today at work, and if you want me to have time to play catch with you later, you will help me out and stop playing Roblox." Christian: "Hey! You know the name! Accomplishment!"
Leslie and I just reached a new level in our relationship ... just jammed out to Dr. Dre and Eminem in the car. Not too shabby; still remember 90% of the lyrics.
Me: "Christian, you don't listen very well sometimes!" Christian: "Well Daddy, maybe you can go buy a new kid that listens." Mommy: "How much do you think a new kid costs, Christian?" Christian: "$85.00."
Me: "Ok, Jackson. Here's your cereal. Come eat it."
Jackson: "HEY! I didn't want Cinnamon Toast Crunch. I want Frosted Flakes!"
Me: "Buddy, you literally just told me you wanted Cinnamon Toast Crunch."
Jackson: "No I didn't. I don't want to eat. I'm not hungry."
Me: "Ok, I'll just throw this away then."
Jackson: "NOOOOOOO! I'm hungry."
Me: "Ok, so you want Frosted Flakes?"
Jackson: "No, I want Cinnamon Toast Crunch."
Me: "Ok Christian, go to bed." Christian: "No, I wanna watch TV." Mommy: "There's nothing on TV tonight." Christian: "Not even Duck Dynasty?" Christian: "Daddy, why are you on that computer so much?"
Me: "Well, it's for Daddy's job, so I can make money to take care of you, your brother and mommy."
Christian: "Take care of us? Like, buy me toys? Buying me toys is taking care of me too!"
Thanks for reading!
*STEVE GAMEL is the Owner/President of Edit This, a writing and editing services company located in Denton, TX. Along with being a sports writer for the Denton Record-Chronicle, Steve handles anything involving the written word. Give him a call today to help give your business a clear voice.