Welcome to Vol. 2 of what I like to call the Gamel Funny Farm Blog. Every so often I like to put a blog like this together to share random conversations and funny moments I am blessed to have with my wife and kids.
For those of you who do not know, our boys, Christian (10) and Jackson (5), are witty and have amazing comedic timing. It's a wonder how we can ground them for being naughty when Leslie and I are laughing so hard at what they say and do. When you factor in goofy parents, what you end up with is the Gamel Funny Farm.
I'd like to think we all have those priceless moments, but the problem is we get so busy with life and work obligations that we forget to keep track of them. Well – I kept track. And as a writer, I can assure you that I am NEVER at a loss for inspiration.
You can read Vol. 1 by clicking here. Meanwhile, I hope you enjoy the latest installment.
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Christian: "Wait, so I have a baseball game on Saturday? I thought it was canceled?"
Leslie: "Yep. The coach for the other team didn't think enough of his players would be able to show up, but now he has plenty. Game is on!"
Christian: "Who are we playing?"
Leslie: "The Royals."
Christian: "Pshh. They won't be royal after we get done with them. More like peasants."
Christian: "Hey! My Dad isn't cheap at all. He pays for high-speed Internet, unlike some people I know."
Me: "Christian!!! Poor Mimi – no respect!"
Christian: "Look, Dad! It's the Bosley hair commercial."
Me: "OK???"
Christian: "What, I'm just sayin'."
Me: "Welp, Jackson is definitely in the Valentines spirit. He just gave me a little conversation heart, though the conversation part was all smeared and nasty because it was in his mouth first. It's the thought that counts, right?"
Me: "Jackson, you need to please be a little more quiet so we can hear the movie."
Jackson: (Loudly smacking food) "Huh?"
Christian: "Geez, he's like the annoying guy in the movie theater with his loud bag of chips."
Jackson: "Daddy. Have you heard the story about the toe monster? One night, Ben was in his room and he heard something outside. He looked out the window and didn't see anything. Then the next morning he was eating breakfast, and he saw a big scratch on his trampoline ... and then guess what? He heard the toe monster ... 'Give me my toe back!'"
Leslie: "Where's this game [Super Bowl] being played at?"
Me: "Foxboro." [also spelled Foxborough]
Leslie: "Foxboro?"
Me: "Boston, honey."
Leslie: "Well I didn't know!"
Me: "But, you've been there!"
Leslie: "Oh."
Jackson: "Daddy? I love you!"
Me: "I love you too, buddy."
Jackson: "K. Can you open this cereal box for me?"
Me: "Suuuuuure."
Jackson: "Daddy!!!!"
Me: "What, buddy? What's wrong?"
Jackson: "Uggg. Christian won't put the movie 'Good Burger' on TV."
Me: "You don't need to be watching that."
Christian: "He heard that one line and he keeps saying it over and over again."
Jackson: "Welcome to Good Burger, home of the Good Burger, can I take your order? Hahahahahaha."
Me: "OK, let's watch Mickey Mouse."
Christian: "Hey Dad? You know the guy in that new movie 'Moana' is The Rock?" Me: "Yep, sure do!" Christian: "He was voted Sexiest Man Alive. I know because Mimi told me." Me: "Oh ... that Mimi."
Me: "Pro tip: For you husbands out there, add a smile emoji at the end of every text you send your wife. That way, regardless of the nature of your conversation she can never unnecessarily accuse you of being rude, upset, or short in your responses."
(Seeing me reaching for the candy bowl) Leslie: "No, No, No. That's for the kids who come to the door tonight for Halloween." Me: "OK, but the sign says take one. So I took one."
(Jackson likes to put leashes on our dogs, Roxy and Ruby, and walk them in our house)
Jackson: "Come here, Ruby. Hold still. Why won't you hold still?"
Me: "Buddy, I don't think she likes being on the leash."
Jackson: "No. She likes it."
Me: "Buddy, she's whimpering. I promise you she just wants to be left alone."
Jackson: "Ruby. You know you like this!"
Thanks for reading!
*STEVE GAMEL is the Owner/President of Edit This, a writing and editing services company located in Denton, TX. Along with being a sports writer for the Denton Record-Chronicle, Steve handles anything involving the written word. Give him a call today to help give your business a clear voice.