Gamel Funny Farm Blog: My Family Says The Funniest Stuff (Vol. 7)
Welcome back to another hilarious edition of the Gamel Funny Farm blog, where you get to learn all about my quirky family.
Below are a collection of random photos, conversations, and unforgettable moments we've had over the last few months. Our boys, Christian (13) and Jackson (8), are witty and have amazing comedic timing. On top of that, my wife, Leslie, and I are 10 percent normal and 90 percent goofy.
In the meantime, please enjoy the sights and sounds of the Gamel Funny Farm blog.
Christian: "Come on, old man. Come play me in basketball."
Me: "You don't want that."
Christian: "I don't lose."
(30 minutes later, after losing to his "old man" 3 games to 2).
Christian: I don't handle losing well."
Me: "There's no shame in losing if you gave it everything you have. You're really good!"
Christian: "I can beat you."
Me: "Well ... someday, you will. Today isn't that day, though."
Leslie: (yelling at Christian for using foul language toward his little brother) "Hey! We don't ever use that type of language. And we don't talk to each other like that. Ya GOT IT?!?!"
Christian: "Yes, ma'am. I'm sorry."
Leslie: "GOOD!! (voice now pleasant) Now come downstairs. Your cinnamon rolls are ready."
Christian: "Dad. May I please play video games?"
Me: "Yes. But as far as playing later tonight goes, you will be off of those games by 10 p.m."
Me: "9:58. Want to keep negotiating?"
Christian: "10 p.m. it is."
Jackson: "Daddy? Did you play Fortnite when you were little?"
Me: "No. Fortnite wasn't around then."
Me: "Yep. We didn't even have Playstation. We had Nintendo, though."
Jackson: "Did you have TVs?"
Me: "Yes, Jackson! We had a TV! I'm not that old."
Leslie: "Well, you were saying no to everything. Valid question."
Me: "Hey! If you keep talking back to your mother like that, I might have to smack you into the middle of next week!"
Jackson: "Cooool. Time travel!!"
Me: "Jackson wants to play a Nerf gun game with us where it's everyone for themselves. But he hid all the guns in strategic parts of the house and didn't even remember where he put them or if they have Nerf bullets in them."
(Jackson singing to us):
Jackson: "If you like pakenia coladas, getting caught in the rain. If you're not into yoga, if you have half a brain ... I can serve you up a parasite ... with a loose strata cake."
Me: "Yup ... that's how it goes, buddy."
Jackson: "Daddy? Can I connect to your hotspot?"
Me: "Sure. But you'll have to wait until I get back from my run."
Me: "Yes. I will have my phone with me."
Jackson: "Well ... for how long?"
Me: "Ummm ... an hour?"
Jackson: "An HOUR?!?!? RUN FASTER!!"
Me: "When your kid says, 'Daddy, I'm going to go play in the backyard with this for a little while,' and you stupidly say 'have fun, buddy' without looking first. The 'this' he referred to was a can of spray paint."
Leslie: "You're supposed to only eat the serving size! LOOK AT THE SERVING SIZE!!!"
Me: "SERVING SIZES DON'T APPLY TO ME!" #hotpockets
Leslie: (to the kids) "Wash your hands ... both of them!"
Leslie: "He had his shoes off the entire time, smelled like jelly beans, and was drinking a Canada Dry."
Me: "Not trying to be insensitive, but I sure do wish these reality TV shows my wife watches were told to shut down for being non-essential. I'd rather watch re-runs of Spongebob and Henry Danger than hear another argument between NeNe and Kenya and why their recent charter boat served raw eggs with Gordon Ramsey on board." #quarantine #COVID19
(When you're married to a cake lady with extraordinary attention to detail)
Exhibit A: Leslie: "I could have had that cake done last night, but the pink was so pink." Me: "The pink was so ... pink?!?!?!?" Leslie: "Well, yeah."
Exhibit B: Leslie: "We need to make a stop at Kroger." Me: "Why?" Leslie: "I need carrots." Me: "Why?" Leslie: "For another cake. A carrot cake." Me: "Isn't there a flavoring thing you can sprinkle on there instead?" Leslie: "You don't want it to be artificial! I'm not about that life!"
Me: "Why didn't you turn the light off so we can watch the movie?"
Leslie: "Because I need to write."
Me: (thinking she wants to write like me) "Aww."
Leslie: "It's just a grocery list."
Me: "Why do you insist on watching 90 Day Fiance?!?!? This is a dumb show for so many reasons, and on top of that, none of these relationships actually work out."
Leslie: "That's not true. There was that guy and the one girl with the weird twitch."
Me: "Ooooh. I guess ya got me!"
Leslie: "Hey, isn't Russell Wilson married to someone famous?" Me: "Yes. I believe so." Leslie: "Well, who? Is it Gabrielle Union?" Me: "No. She's married to Dwayne Wade." Leslie: "Is it Aaliyah?" Me: "She's been dead for 19 years." Leslie: "Well, who?!?!" Me: "I don't know. Your phone is right there. Just look it up."
Leslie: "No. It's not like I care that much." Me: "Seriously?!?!"
P.S. The answer is Ciara.
Thanks for reading!