Gamel Funny Farm Blog: My Family Says The Funniest Stuff (Vol. 8)
Welcome back to another hilarious edition of the Gamel Funny Farm blog, where you get to learn all about my quirky family.
Below are a collection of random photos, conversations, and unforgettable moments we've had over the last few months. Our boys, Christian (13) and Jackson (9), are witty and have amazing comedic timing. On top of that, my wife, Leslie, and I are 10 percent normal and 90 percent goofy.
When you add it all up, you have the Gamel Funny Farm. For everyone's convenience, you can read Vol. 1, Vol. 2, Vol. 3, Vol. 4, Vol. 5, Vol. 6, and Vol. 7 to catch up.
In the meantime, please enjoy the sights and sounds of the Gamel Funny Farm blog.
Me: "Christian ... we have to boil water now. It is very important that you don't use the tap water."
Christian: "I know. Mom told me."
Leslie: "So, if you have to wash your hands or brush your teeth, you have to use the boiled water instead."
Christian: "But that's going to burn!"
Everyone: "YOU LET IT COOL OFF FIRST!!!!!!"
Christian: "Oh."
Leslie: "You're lucky you're cute."
Leslie: "Jackson is a lot like you."
Me: "Meh. Not really."
Leslie: "Ummm. Yes. He's anal-retentive, needs entertainment when he goes to the bathroom, and he eats everything."
Me: "Whatever."
Leslie: "Jackson may look like me, but he is you. Christian may look like you, but he is me. Because Christian has minimal common sense and is easy going."
Me: "I do not know what to say."
(Our WiFi has been down all day, and I'm seriously beginning to think Jackson might spontaneously combust).
Jackson: "Daddy? Can I connect to your hotspot?"
Me: "Sure. But you'll have to wait until I get back from my run."
Jackson: "Seriously?!?!?!"
Me: "Yes. I will have my phone with me."
Jackson: "Well ... for how long?"
Me: "Ummm ... an hour?"
Jackson: "An HOUR?!?!? RUN FASTER!!"
Jackson: "Mommy. Why do we have all the candles downstairs?"
Leslie: "Because we are all downstairs ... in the dark."
Jackson: "When will we take the candles upstairs?"
Leslie: "When we all go upstairs ... in the dark."
Me: "Jackson!"
Jackson: "What??!?!"
Me: "You haven't given me a hug yet."
Jackson: "Ugh."
Me: "You should always give your dad a hug as soon as you get home."
Jackson: "Do I have to?"
Me: "Hey, Christian. How about you go take a shower before you eat dinner."
Christian: "Nah. I can wait."
Me: "Oh, I'm sorry. Did I make that statement sound like a suggestion?"
Christian: "I guess I'm going to go take a shower now."
Jackson: "What is so important that you have to pause George Clooney?"
Gotta love it when you sit out on the front porch for a quick mental break, and your wife (who isn't even home, btw) starts talking to you through the Ring doorbell and asking what you're thinking about.
So I dug into my wife's purse to get MY credit card back so that I can sneak in a quick haircut, and she yells at me for going through her purse without asking.
I come back home 30 minutes later and put MY credit card back in her purse. She proceeds to stare lovingly into my eyes.
Leslie: "Ummm ... Can you please use your earbuds while you're watching whatever video it is that you are watching on your phone?"
Me: "Yeah, sure (puts earbuds in)."
Leslie: (5 min later) "Hello? Hello?? ... STEVE!?!? HELLO?!!?!!"
Me: (Takes earbuds out) "Huh?"
Leslie: "I'm trying to talk to you!!!!"
Me: "Well, how am I supposed to know!!?!!"
Leslie: "Of course, you didn't. Because you're always wearing those DAMN EARBUDS!!"
Me: "Seriously?"
Leslie: "What are you doing?"
Me: "I'm going for a walk."
Leslie: "On the boulevard of broken dreams?"
Me: "Okay, Green Day."
Leslie: "Would you like a cupcake?"
Me: "Absolutely."
Leslie: "Here ya go."
Me: "What happened to the top?"
Leslie: "Psssh. You don't get decorative topping. That's for clients. You just get a schmear."
Me: "Oh."
Leslie: "Christian! Why did you download Canvas on your phone?"
Christian: (from upstairs) "Hold on."
Me: "Just give him a second, Leslie."
Leslie: "He has Canvas on his laptop. You shouldn't be doing homework on your phone! I'm not sure what you're doing."
Me: "Geez. Give him a second to explain. This isn't Cobra Kai. We don't strike first in this dojo."
I have a nasty habit of leaving cheese wrappers on the counter after I eat a sandwich. I put everything else away (I even clean up crumbs), but I somehow always manage to leave something annoying behind. I know. I know. (Clean up after yourself, Steve!) Anyway, that's not the point ... The point is that my sweet wife gets understandably pissed when I do it and will typically retaliate by putting said cheese wrapper on my desk, in one of my many notebooks, inside my wallet, under my computer mouse, etc., as a not-so-gentle reminder to clean up. Over the years, a little game has ensued where if she puts the wrapper on my stuff, I will simply take it and put it in her stuff (purse, desk, empty coffee cup, etc.). Childish, I know. But also funny. Well, TODAY, I left another cheese wrapper out. She wrapped my reading glasses in it, so I retaliated and found the perfect hiding spot among her stuff. And BOY, is she ever frustrated trying to find it. It has been at least 30 minutes, and it is right in plain sight. She will find the rogue cheese wrapper eventually. And when she does, she will be pissed. But she will also laugh, and this is what our happy marriage is all about!
Muahahahahahaha.
Thanks for reading!
#GamelFunnyFarmBlog #Myfamilysaysthefunnieststuff #writingandediting #EditThisandDentonTX
I have a nasty habit of leaving cheese wrappers on the counter after I eat a sandwich. I put everything else away (I even clean up crumbs), but I somehow always manage to leave something annoying behind. I know. I know. (Clean up after yourself, Steve!) Anyway, that's not the point ... The point is that my sweet wife gets understandably pissed when I do it and will typically retaliate by putting said cheese wrapper on my desk, in one of my many notebooks, inside my wallet, under my computer mouse, etc. as a not-so-gentle reminder to clean up. Over the years, a little game has ensued where if she puts the wrapper on my stuff, I will simply take it and put it in her stuff (purse, desk, empty coffee cup, etc.) Childish, I know. But also funny.
Well, TODAY, I left another cheese wrapper out. She wrapped my reading glasses in it, so I retaliated and found the perfect hiding spot among her stuff. And BOY, is she ever frustrated trying to find it. It has been at least 30 min, and it is right in plain sight. She will find the rogue cheese wrapper eventually. And when she does, she will be pissed. But she will also laugh, and this is what our happy marriage is all about!
Muahahahahahaha.
Me: "Jackson!"
Jackson: "What??!?!"
Me: "You haven't given me a hug yet."
Jackson: "Ugh."
Me: "You should always give your dad a hug as soon as you get home."
Jackson: "Do I have to?"
*sigh